I went out last night for the first time in forever and saw a high school friend. We talked about how much we hated it, high school, and how it seems like it went by so fast, like it barely even happened. But back then it’s everything, it’s the whole thing.
I haven’t been completely present. I can’t figure out if I'm happy or sad. There’s been an urge, a need for friends, trying to find a way, figuring things out. There was no comfort in knowing that you had heartbreak too. When I read the letters I wasn’t supposed to see, you said you too laid down on the floor and waited to die. This was no consolation for me. There will be no relief from it.
I was supposed to make more friends. I was supposed to be okay. And why is everyone going to Iceland?
I bet this is what you’d want to hear, but then again, that’s pretty sad. It’s no good to see someone after that long a while. Go climb your ice caps. Go build relationships. Go smile in all your photos.